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Most Convincing Taylor Swift Conspiracy Theories


Since entering politics, Taylor Swift has been the target of countless conspiracy theories from far-right members. The onion explores the most convincing hoaxes that have recently circulated about the singer-songwriter.

Taylor Swift calls Chiefs offensive plays

Taylor Swift calls Chiefs offensive plays

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It’s not called a multi-hyphenate for nothing.

She never actually landed on the Moon

She never actually landed on the Moon

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Look very closely at the American flag and you will see everything you need to know.

The Covid vaccine was designed to turn people into Swifties

The Covid vaccine was designed to turn people into Swifties

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There is no other explanation for why the world was so obsessed with Midnights.

She killed Jesus

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She basically admits it in her album liner notes. Red.

She’s actually another Garth Brooks alternate personality a la Chris Gaines

She’s actually another Garth Brooks alternate personality a la Chris Gaines

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She had plastic surgery to remove her tail

She had plastic surgery to remove her tail

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Particularly plausible since she previously admitted to having surgery to remove a kangaroo pouch from her abdomen.

Remote detonation of World Trade Center explosions

Remote detonation of World Trade Center explosions

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Who would expect an 11 year old in Pennsylvania?

The 9-banded armadillo can hold its breath for up to 6 minutes

The 9-banded armadillo can hold its breath for up to 6 minutes

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Swift is clearly the mastermind behind this cool armadillo fact.

Secretly controls Travis Kelce’s career

Secretly controls Travis Kelce’s career

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Before last fall, had he shown any interest in football?

part of a plot to take over America

part of a plot to take over America

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In fact, she already did.

She can regulate her body temperature with her mind

She can regulate her body temperature with her mind

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That’s why you’ve never seen her wear a coat.

She didn’t date John Mayer; She is John Mayer

She didn’t date John Mayer; She is John Mayer

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That explains those guitar chops and sensitive lyrics.

All his songs are about Daniel Day-Lewis

All his songs are about Daniel Day-Lewis

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After all, they dated for 12 years.

She assassinated President Garfield

She assassinated President Garfield

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Swift was always said to harbor deep resentment toward Garfield for being chosen as the party’s candidate over Chester Arthur.

She is attracted to you

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If this one wasn’t true before you got that new haircut, it certainly is now.

Taylor Swift is a human being

Taylor Swift is a human being

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Hopefully this theory isn’t true, because it’s much easier to continue treating it as both an object and a phenomenon.

She’s reading this right behind you

She’s reading this right behind you

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Note: The content and images used in this article is rewritten and sourced from www.theonion.com

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