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Best Prop Bets For Super Bowl LVIII


Why spend your hard-earned money on your family when you could waste it on trivial bets that have nothing to do with sports? Here is The onion‘s picks for the best prop bets for Super Bowl LVIII.

The coin never touches the ground

The coin never touches the ground

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The odds are long, but the payouts are high if the coin from the first draw hovers above the field for eternity.

Brock Purdy studies German flash cards on the sidelines

Brock Purdy studies German flash cards on the sidelines

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Massive win if the 49ers quarterback uses his team’s defensive possessions to review German vocabulary for an adult education class he’s taking.

Football gets stuck on neighbor’s roof

Football gets stuck on neighbor’s roof

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Payment for any delay due to the ball being stuck in the gutter of the house next to Allegiant Stadium.

Football form OTHER

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While the prolate spheroid has won this bet for 57 straight Super Bowls, the odds of +500000000 are just too good to pass up.

Usher gets his head stuck trying to take off his shirt

Usher gets his head stuck trying to take off his shirt

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Of the hundreds of his performances available on YouTube, only three show the singer successfully removing his shirt without this happening.

Fox News over 8.5 headlines on ads referring to America as a nation of immigrants

Fox News over 8.5 headlines on ads referring to America as a nation of immigrants

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No more smart money, unless there’s a terrorist attack or something.

Brock Purdy’s mom brings him in for dinner

Brock Purdy’s mom brings him in for dinner

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Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan will be weird on Friday

Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan will be weird on Friday

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Whether this will affect the outcome of the game will depend on how long it takes them to develop empathy and understanding for each other, no matter how different they may be.

Usher whistles into the microphone during the entire halftime show

Usher whistles into the microphone during the entire halftime show

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Additional payment if he has never whistled before and is trying for the first time.

The breed of a cartoon bird flying around the heads of licensed quarterbacks

The breed of a cartoon bird flying around the heads of licensed quarterbacks

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Cardinal? Blue Bird? Place your bets on which breed of bird will surround Purdy when he is eliminated.

Andy Reid Less than 1.5 Italian subs consumed

Andy Reid Less than 1.5 Italian subs consumed

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No matter how much the Chiefs coach loves a good meal, the man is also a professional during the game.

The most sensual dance in the end zone

The most sensual dance in the end zone

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The odds are better for Ross Dwelley, who will leave crowds in tears at the power of his sensual lambada, the forbidden dance.

Streaker stays on the ground for 7 hours

Streaker stays on the ground for 7 hours

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This would be six hours and 58 minutes longer than the current record.

More on photos of Taylor Swift unhinging her jaw to slide a whole fried chicken down her gullet

More on photos of Taylor Swift unhinging her jaw to slide a whole fried chicken down her gullet

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Vegas seems to have drawn the line too low on this one.

Teams declare a truce rather than play overtime

Teams declare a truce rather than play overtime

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There is no shame in a 24-24 draw against opponents you are now proud to call friends.

Where it will take place

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The people’s money is in Las Vegas, but don’t count out Wichita yet!

The whole Kelce family goes topless +500

The whole Kelce family goes topless +500

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Donna Kelce has refrained from this family tradition for far too long!

You’ve come this far…

You’ve come this far…



Note: The content and images used in this article is rewritten and sourced from www.theonion.com

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